*sigh* Alright. I've come to the desicion, sorry if I further piss anyone off, that I'm completely and overly tired of having friends. It's not something nice to say, I know that, but whatever. I'm sick and tired of all the effing stress. Honestly! It just all pisses me off or sends me on a one way trip down depression alley. Joy.
I've decided that come this August, when school starts, I'm gonna go back to being a complete and total b***h to every effing person there. I don't want any new 'friends' or accquentinces. I've even bluntly told my dad and brother that "I'm tired of having friends." I'm flippin' serious. I'm sick of it! s**t, it's not like I had many to begin with. I've only had two very close friends for the past two or three years and one very, very close friend for about four years. But now I believe I've gone back to having just one. So what the ******** ever. I don't give a s**t anymore.
And also, adding a rather unplesent note to this ranting pissyness, I'm appoled to say I've actually began thinking of suicidal thoughts once again. Just the other night I was thinking of what I would put in my suicide note. Whoopie.
Lately, I've also found myself randomly breaking down and crying for a good half hour or so. Yay. Sheesh. I'm so tired of everything in my effing mundane life! I honestly do wish it would end!! God!
I'm so pathetic! Lately, I've just been loundging around my house, playing X-Men legends with my brother or just chatting with my dad. I also sleep a lot....mainly just when I'm home alone or my brother's out with his girlfriend and Dad's busy with something... That's my oh so interesting life. Feh. Yes.
Well...I guess now I have something to keep me slightly amused. My dad bought me the H.P. book yesterday. So I'm reading that...but it's going to take me forever with all of the damn interuptions I get. But whatever. Anything to get my mind off of reality I guess.
Anyway, it's about 2...so I'm going. I honestly don't feel like being on the computer much today. Bye.
 Yanachii · Mon Jul 18, 2005 @ 09:00pm · 3 Comments |
