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Ok, new problem. I sent my father a video called 'confessions of a broken heart' and I waited for a reply. 2 days later I get one and he said exactly this.

"I watched this video and listened to the song. Is this how you feel. I really need to know and you really need to know just how much I love you.
Dad"

I don't know what to do, I mean, he says he loves me but he'll turn around again and shut me out. I want to tell him it's what you do not what you say but, I'm scared. I can't just tell him and now I'm crying my eyes out because I'm just so lost crying . I need him to understand what he's doing to me. I just don't know how to tell him without being the bad guy. Oh God, Please help me, I'm sinking deeper and deeper into hell and by the time I'm found, it might be too late. Please, someone show me an angel of mercy and show me a way. I need to let him know.