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Snape: I am Snape, the potions master. Welcome to potions class.
(Hermione, Ron, and Harry enter)
Ron: Yay potions!
Harry: Hello Snape.
Hermione: What are we going to learn today, Professor?
Snape: The beauty of a softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes.
Harry: Oh not this again.
Snape: The delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins.
(Ron moves back a little and shakes his head.)
Ron: E-ww!
Snape: Bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.
Hermione: (Shivering slightly) Ooo.
Snape: I can teach you how to bottle fame.
Harry: Don’t need it.
Snape: Brew glory.
Ron: Ooh la la.
Snape: Even put a stopper in death.
Hermione: (Shakes head) No you can’t.
Snape: I can teach you the secrets of mystical fluids unknown.
Harry: (Nods) Okay.
Snape: Enchanted juice, wizard liquids.
Ron: Wow.
Snape: The cool feminine curves of a potions flask.
Hermione: Go on.
Snape: The titillating scent of a fresh elixir.
Harry: Is this the whole class?
Snape: I can teach you how to pickle victory.
Ron (gasping): Pickle victory?!
Snape: How to secrete success.
Hermione: Oh my.
Snape: Even score with hot babes.
(Organ music makes a few sour notes and comes to an abrupt stop.)
Harry: Wait, what?
Snape: Class dismissed.
(Hermione and Ron exit.)
Harry: Wait, wait. Hot babes?
Snape: Vamoose, Mr. Potter.
Harry: Teach me!
Snape: No, skedaddle.
(Harry sighs and exits.)
(Dumbledore enters.)
Dumbledore: Hello, Severus!
Snape: Hello, Headmaster.
Dumbledore: I need to borrow some wizard liquids!
Snape: I’m fresh out, sir.
Dumbledore: How about enchanted juice?
Snape: Nope.
Dumbledore: What about expired gorilla milk?
Snape: That has no magical properties, sir.
Dumbledore: Au contraire, Snape-a-doodle. It’s done a wonder on me bowels!
Snape: Okay, whatever. This way.
(Snape ducks down and goes offstage.)
Dumbledore: (Following Snape) Hehehe.
 Mandy Thorne · Tue Dec 04, 2007 @ 11:44pm · 0 Comments |
