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Katie Sea's random drabbles and stuff Hi. I'm Katie Sea, formerly known as Horse lady, and this is my journal! This is mostly made up of rambles and rants about life.


Katie Sea
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Of Writing, an unexpected award, and my all-time high
First, I'd like to say that this is only SLIGHTLY band related! Otherwise, this is just more social stuff, blabberings about my illogical crush, and some mini-achievements that I've made with my writing.

I'll get the band stuff out of the way. Basically, this past Tuesday, we had an end of the season banquet, and the seniors were recognized, as well as some people who did some really cool stuff throughout the season, so some underclassmen were recognized for some stuff and got a little certificate for what they were recognized for.
So, there's this thing called an "ABCD" award, which stands for "Above and Beyond the call of Duty." That pretty much means that the person earning that award was working their a** off in the band room in times other than practice.

When the director was explaining the ABCD and why this unnamed person had earned it, I was thinking, "Okay, it's gotta be Swizz. I mean, she's the Drum Major, and we all know that she's been working her a** off this season."

But apparently being DM and a senior and being the best person in band is recognition enough, or I'm really on Ms. Director's good side, because I was awarded for going above and beyond the call of duty.

In partial shock as my name was announced, I went up, got the certificate thing, shook hands, and then sat down, only to be attacked by my band buddies who were all huggy and all "Good job, Katie!" and stuff.

So, needless to say, I'm proud of myself and I'm glad I joined colorguard, even though this year sucked.

Next: Writing.

So, I had fixed the internet on my laptop and transfered my important documents to my email and then got them on my main computer console. Yay. But then right after, I completely ******** up my laptop again, this time by tripping over a cable.

Yeah, go me.

But in a way, this is better, because now I have no laptop to distract me, my documents are all safe, and now I'm working more on my novel. I'm in chapter four and still going.

Now to get to the juicy gossip stuff (oh god...)

What I mean by "my all-time high" in the title of this entry is the feeling that I get whenever I even merely think about my illogical crush. Or see him. Or when someone mentions his name.
Typical love-struck teenage stuff, right?
Pretty much.

But this has sort of inspired me for an idea for a poem. I mean, I get this druggie-like-high from this guy's presence, so why not write a poem titled with the name of a drug. I was thinking of calling it "Opium," but I need to do a little more research on what opium does to ya besides causing a feeling of euphoria.

I'm going to try to cut down on the crush gobbledygook from now on. I mean, thinking about how much I like him and can't have him isn't going to get me to talk to him.

I'll just wait until the swim team starts, and then while I go to the meets to cheer for my brother, I may be able to slip in a few words with HIM.
.... Hopefully.....

..... But there's this little bit of jealousy that I feel in my stomach, and whenever i think about why I'm jealous, my eyes start to turn green with envy.

Basically, my friend Emily, a trombone player, has an inside joke with him and a senior in the drum line. It's something silly, with aviator sunglasses and stuff...

And this jealous feeling that I have is stupid, and I know that, but I can't help that the feeling's there.

Now, why am I jealous?

Because I feel primal instincts stronger than a lot of other people. I just hide it well.
.... meaning that I'm waaaayyyy too possessive over something that isn't, wasn't, and probably won't be, mine.

And I'm jealous that she got to be friends with him so easily and I didn't.

And now it's kind of too late to make any moves, because I have to take into account all of the girls in the junior class, and the other band people, and the others in whatever activities he does, and if I just suddenly show up out of nowhere, me, an awkward freshman who can't read music for crap, and I start hinting at something, then there'll be a whole entire mess of trouble, and I don't want to put him through any unnecessary, stupid, girly drama. Because I'm better than that, and I have an untold amount of respect for him.

So, basically, to sum it all up, I still don't want to like him, yet I do, I'm becoming a possessive freak, but keeping my mouth shut, and I catch myself being almost late for class sometimes because I'm waiting to just catch a glimpse of him, my drug, walking through the front doors, so I can go without a craving until later that day or the next day.

gonk And this is why sometimes I wish I was asexual.

.......

WHY CAN'T I STOP LIKING HIM???

gonk stressed

*sighs again* Well, hopefully next entry will have to do with me getting over this teenage drama, or I'll be almost done with my first draft of my novel.
.... God, I hope so. I'm already really behind schedule.

Whatever.

Next time: Meh, I dunno. I'm not really good at prophetical stuff. I'm better at empathy. But So far, I don't sense any major changes in emotion....

I guess I've got some life lessons to learn, huh?

This is Horse, signing out.




 
 
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