Oh, I know. I know what that paranoia, that lurking fear feels like to hover over your bed. The pain of knowing your friends are afraid of you, or the fear that they will eave you, or that they might not even like you. Having someone hate your nature, your very being, is the hardest and most painful feeling ever. I feel like I know you all too well. Please, P.M. me if you ever need to talk. I'll help you any way I can.