A half a cup Satanical, a teaspoon Puritanical,
Stirred with a bloody hand
A quarter cup Messiahcal, a sprinkle of Maniacal
And now I’m a Mechanical Man
Stirred with a bloody hand
A quarter cup Messiahcal, a sprinkle of Maniacal
And now I’m a Mechanical Man
Okay.
My moods couldn't be any worse.
I'm not even supposed to know this, but one of my best friends has terminal cancer.
She probably doesn't have long to live.
I was sobbing earlier, but I'm a bit better now.
Then, I log onto Gaia.
Read my comments.
Wow. So much hatred.
Never thought anybody could b***h at me so much.
Never thought I could cry so much from reading words.
That one chick [DeathNoteGuru] made me sob.
I'm barely recovering from that right now.
I blocked her and deleted all her comments.
I sent a PM to her explaining everything I'm going through.
My family is breaking apart.
My friends are dying all around me.
My life is falling to pieces.
But somehow, I manage to smile everyday.
I manage to pull a fake-smile that gets everybody believing that I'm alright.
But I'm not.
Nobody understands what I'm going through.
I don't really feel like talking now.
These past two weeks have been nothing but living Hell for me.
I just wish September would end as soon as possible.
It's never a very good month for me.
Every one of my friends who have died, have died in September.
Not even kidding.
But, whatever.
I can't change the past.
I can't stop all the drunk drivers.
I can't stop my ex-fionce from killing himself.
s**t happens, people die, and life goes on.
There's nothing anybody can do about it.
I probably won't post for a long time.
I'm so depressed... I don't know what I'm going to do if my friend dies...
P.S. In my last journal entry, I wasn't referring to anybody on Gaia calling me an "emo", "b***h", or a "slut."
My moods couldn't be any worse.
I'm not even supposed to know this, but one of my best friends has terminal cancer.
She probably doesn't have long to live.
I was sobbing earlier, but I'm a bit better now.
Then, I log onto Gaia.
Read my comments.
Wow. So much hatred.
Never thought anybody could b***h at me so much.
Never thought I could cry so much from reading words.
That one chick [DeathNoteGuru] made me sob.
I'm barely recovering from that right now.
I blocked her and deleted all her comments.
I sent a PM to her explaining everything I'm going through.
My family is breaking apart.
My friends are dying all around me.
My life is falling to pieces.
But somehow, I manage to smile everyday.
I manage to pull a fake-smile that gets everybody believing that I'm alright.
But I'm not.
Nobody understands what I'm going through.
I don't really feel like talking now.
These past two weeks have been nothing but living Hell for me.
I just wish September would end as soon as possible.
It's never a very good month for me.
Every one of my friends who have died, have died in September.
Not even kidding.
But, whatever.
I can't change the past.
I can't stop all the drunk drivers.
I can't stop my ex-fionce from killing himself.
s**t happens, people die, and life goes on.
There's nothing anybody can do about it.
I probably won't post for a long time.
I'm so depressed... I don't know what I'm going to do if my friend dies...
P.S. In my last journal entry, I wasn't referring to anybody on Gaia calling me an "emo", "b***h", or a "slut."
♥
