I will never understand certain things...why im driven to make people feel good about themselves or make someone stop thinking of the normal everyday things of life and start thinking out side of the box and maybe even freaking tear it the ******** up! XD.
I may not know why i have these urges to do these things but i know im good at them despite me not wanting these abilities. My mom and older brother tell that i am a caring person and i have a golden heart that shines threw even if i try to hide it. I argue with them telling them im a mean and selfish person or that im a brat and hate everything about everyone but they only get more stubborn and push the fact that im a good person and i usualy give in sometime later my mood of 'hate' over and my washover of self pitty receds and i go right back to helping others.
I know i got a lot of pride when it comes to helping people. Some people i help in some small way want to repay me or they tell me i need to do something thats simple and they want to reward me as if its a rare event or some great deed ive done. It makes me angry for some odd reason that i need to be rewarded for something so trivial. And when i get hurt and i have to be on crutches or something where my normal motions are hindered i get mad at my self for not healing quicker or i know something is really wrong with me and i just cant get out what i want to say i get a burst of pride and simmer angered in silence.
I cry when i cant exspress my self to the full exstent that i want to be able to do. Like when im annoyed by something i either talk about it or i start crying and growling at the thing making me annoyed. If someone tells me to do something like one time some idiot named Angle told me to help my mom and i would get a 'treat' for it. I almost punched him in the face for thinking i needed to be REWARDED for helping MY MOM! I help her rewards or not. He left and then came back and gave me a gallon of ice cream for 'helping my mom' I started to cry and refused to take the ice cream no matter what he did till he said it wasnt a reward for helping.
Im understanding on many diffrent levels of human life. I try to understand everything someone tells me and if i dont i just wait and think it over for a long time sometimes before i understand or i ask them to clear things up for me. I understand the war on iraq or 'terrorsism' I understand that we had no right to be attacked by the bombers but we had no right to retaliate so bluntly and not know the whole story of WHO OR WHY They did it! We didnt even have the funds for what we did. We should of waited for a better time to attack or something! We probly wouldnt of lost so many soldiers if we had.
I always try to view every side of a subject and understand where their coming from and i always try to find a way that would bring the most of what each group wants for all of them.
Well thats basicly me in a possitive light...I cant really think of anything neigative to say about my self..Though i bet that loads of people could tell me everything thats REALLY wrong with me. But then again im not them and i am who i say i am and the rest of the world who doesnt like it can kiss my semi black a**! XD!! Kayce out!
Oh yeah! Im gonna join the Marines someday but untill i join im gonna be working out a lot so i might not get on the comp as much as i have but im not sure...Im never really sure XD.
Delicross Community Member 
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