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Over the last few months I have had time to look at who I am and what I think of myself.
To tell the honest truth I didn't like who I was seeing when I looked in the mirror. Right now I still am not happy but I am making my way there.
The person that looked back at me was afraid of what everyone saw when they looked at them, afraid to be themselves except in the rarest of moments.
I kept thinking, how could anyone like that person, they aren't worth the time, aren't worth the effort to be liked. That person is so weak, so pitiful.
Then a lot happened. My best friend needed my help, her three small kids needed my help and in that moment I realized, I am not as weak as I thought I was. I just don't know how to be myself except when pushed to the edge.
I want to change that. I want to be someone strong, someone that doesn't have to hide. So during the time I was thinking, I decided to let myself get stronger, and if someone makes me feel bad, someone forces me to feel weak again, as much as it will hurt, I will have to back away, to leave them behind.
I need to be strong.. for my own sake, and the sake of those I care about.
Don't hate me, for wanting to finally be who I need to be, on my own terms
 Steal · Wed Oct 20, 2004 @ 08:27pm · 2 Comments |
