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Well the other day I discovered that I must get done 40 guides to graduate. 40 guides = 5 hours each (in my panicy state I've forgotten the words... um...) average.
I finished four today, enter a writing contest, print something, and I'll finish my second course this year. I finished a course today... But its' not enough sadly, much more to do. I'll try and break down my steel resolve and ask for help more often. My views are always so different then others and asking means depending on them. There are so few I can depend on. Three that I know of for certain just on Gaia.
So I'll work on... stress out, break down, whatever it takes. This is my test now. Most go through drug addictions, smoke addiction, cutting, individualism conflicts, and other wonderful things. This is my test. This is my test of proving that I am worth living this life. That I can handle life beyond this from now on.
I won't be the only Crowhurst to not graduate. I just won't. If I have to go down kicking, screaming, begging, crying, I will. But I won't have to. I'm just really worried, that's all.
End of this little bit of uneasyness.
 Silent Flame · Tue May 10, 2005 @ 07:05am · 2 Comments |
