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I don't even know why I do this to myself. I have that thing in my wrist where the doctors are going to eventually have to gouge it out and slip tubes in there to drain the fluids that are building up, yet I still go online almost every day.. And I talk to people for the WHOLE day.. and I try to help them .. but noone tries to help me.
Earlier I was talking to a guy I once called brother, he was never really my brother but I needed an older male figure in my life to feel like I have to show off to ( and now that I do know my REAL brother I want notthing to do with him). Anyways.. going off topic. He was telling me about how people like me and him were born to take care of other people. My concern was.. What happens when we are drained?.. He didn't have an answer. So I guess we're just supposed to fade in to obscurity and just be there to give everyone else our help and support. We were ment to be there for everyone else to rely on when they need help. Well I want him to forget about everyone else and just focus on making me happy, not the whole world. But he insist that it's our job. So I'm going throgh all this pain in my wrists because I can't help but help people.
Well, I am in ALOT of pain right now and I have notthing for it. No pain killers at all... I just hope my other brother was right.. and that maybe someday we will be rewarded for all that we do..cuz we sure as hell do alot.
My real brother is getting on my nerves so bad that I had a vision of me smashing him in the back of the head with a hammer when I was sitting next to him. I didn't do it. But it felt like i should.
I'm trying to save right now to get some of those butterfly wings, their so beautiful! Well.. I'm a long way away from getting what I want.. so.. I guess I have to go to some poll guilds and just answer polls like crazy then! Hehehehe..anyways.. ouch.. I'm gunna stop for now.
 Gothic Alice · Sat Apr 30, 2005 @ 06:51am · 0 Comments |
