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I'm an idiot. I lost my chance. If I had just told him I loved him a few days ago, right when I knew I did.... but so many things were nterfering, along with my doubt I really loved him, but..... I know now I do. And I can't do anything about it. I messed up. He has someone else. As long as he's happy I'll be fine. I'll never let go of him though, I'll always do my best to just remain his friend.
And another thing: I.... I just.... Well, I know virtually everything about him... kinda. I know where he's gone to high school, what state and city he live in... his arae code.... And I'm getting closer to his phone number with each passing minute I research. I'm such a stalker, but I can't help it. As soon as I find out what anime convention he's going to in a few days, I'm going to get the details and attend it myself. And possibly meet him. Ah, but he'll be with his new-found girlfriend. What disappointment. Well, I'll be content once I see his gorgeous smile.
The funny thing (I guess it's funny) is that he has no idea how much I love him, which is knowledge that should be withheld anyways. It's for our own good. I deeply miss him though. I feel more disconnected with him everyday, and that very fact is the thing really bringing me down. sad
 Alfons_Heidrich · Tue Jul 03, 2007 @ 01:37am · 1 Comments |
