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frdee
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commentCommented on: Sun Jun 24, 2007 @ 08:05am
I'm not going to do too much right now, but the one thing that stuck out to me was "She asked, her obvious seven year old education showing through." I don't really get what it is supposed to mean....However, it was really good! I like the first chapter. I think it could be a bit more exciting to pull the reader in more but as idk where, I shouldn't be talking. (I can't wait untill you get to the part where he meets Kari! lol!)


commentCommented on: Sun Jun 24, 2007 @ 11:53pm
Lol! Funny you should mention that! Lol! I was just thinking about this last night, and I realized that it really didn't make any sense! I have to fix it, so don't worry about it too much. Yeah, I still need to make it draw the reader in more, but the intro does a good job of that too. Thanks!



shadowwjlh
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frdee
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commentCommented on: Sat Jun 30, 2007 @ 11:17pm
hehe! If we oth saw it we can't both be wrong!
Yeah. I'm so happy! Now that you have the notbook and everything it makes it like, official that you are writing it! Hee~


commentCommented on: Sun Jul 01, 2007 @ 03:40am
Lol, yep! That means we're both thinking along the same lines!
Yay! It seems a little more official now, because that means that now I can carry it around with me and write down ideas that I have all the time! I'm still working on chapter two, but its slow since I'm working more on Kari's story right now.



shadowwjlh
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