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OK... read the last post for concert details but I am really mad, sad and jealous right now. I know I'm being selfish, I know I'm being a b***h, and I know after i eat a root beer float I'll feel better but I need to let this out. I envy my cousin so much. He has an awesome band, has lots of friends and knows when to stop. I really wish I had been born a year earlier so I could talk with him more. I really wish I didn't annoy him as much as I do. AND I REALLY WISH THAT I UNDERSTOOD HOW I FELT! GOD ALL ******** MIGHTY! HOW IN THE GOD DAMN ******** HELL AM I S'POSED TO COMPETE WITH HIM! I WANT TO BE AS GOOD AT TROMBONE AS HE IS! I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO BOYS THE WAY HE CAN TALK TO GIRLS(As friends, not necessarily flirting) AND! and... I want him to be my friend... not just a friendly cousin that annoys him during school... most of all, I want to tell him how much I envy him and look up to him, but I know I'll just embarrass him or he'll laugh and not understand how I feel. I feel like crying and no stupid emocon will explain this...