• Heart is being tortured, but i don't understand why

    And through the years i lost my ability to cry

    my ability to release the pain and regret

    so it stays on my mind, never to be let

    free as a bird, feelings never to fly away again

    thought i need a lover, but i could only find a friend

    And i get so lonely, understanding Janet Jackson

    and all i wanna do is demonstrate my passion.

    To have an hold a love of my own

    maybe make a family and turn this house to a home.

    I've been told i was a good man, but i can't keep a woman around

    So instead of looking to the sky i just stay on the ground.

    because it seems like cloud 9 is my area of bad luck,

    and it seems like the only thing i can do right is ********.

    And nobody understands my feelings because i'm too shy to explain

    all the real emotions that i let run wild through my brain

    and my heart, but i hate to be denied

    and that used to be the main reason every night that i cried.

    Being told "no" when I know i can do the job

    left me cold with no love my heart is begging to throb

    with a feeling for someone special, someone like me

    something I've already had, but being silly i let it go free.

    Damn my thoughts are compiling filling my head with doubt

    Because i hear "no" whenever my emotions escape my mouth.

    Or even worse, I'm replied to with a lie something far from reality

    And the only one left to be mad at it is me

    But i can't be i brush off anger into depression

    Being nice to the world hoping I learn my lesson

    And get done so wrong that i have to either turn into an a*****e

    Or find someone i don't like and let my love grow.

    Because it feels like I'm not worthy of what i want for myself

    and all it's doing is giving a negative effect on my health

    Smoking is the closest thing i have to a cry

    but only because every hit brings more smoke to my eye

    clouding my judgment, making my compassion turn to dust

    my love into hatred and my passion into lust

    and become the very thing that i have grown to despise

    Just another ***** from the hood looking only for hips and thighs

    making my mission of the day to get titties and a**

    simply because my old ways got me nowhere fast

    and in the end i will end up lonely without care

    no kids, no wife, just a wreck who will look up and stare

    and think his life was a joke, something more than good enough to regret

    but i won't give a ******** anymore I'll know my life is a mess

    turmoil all around me with no cause to defend

    and the only thing i'll be looking forward to is my bitter end

    where i will be six feet deep in a puddle of lost time

    and in the end my grave will be the only thing that is mine.