-
hundreds of butterflies
in my stomach arrise
waiting for you to answer why
you said the words that made me want to die
tens of thousands deep breaths
and silence quieter than death
you said you would have been torn apart
when forced by parents to break my heart
a million thoughts ran through my head
full of hope, disolving the dread
"you wouldnt hurt me because of them," i sigh
he nods his head and i close my eyes
my tears were a trillion roses on the floor
when you sowed together the heart you tore
and life's devoid of all sadness
because with a simple "someday" came great happiness

- Title: [Title is in the description]
- Artist: atsyrk
-
Description:
Hundreds of butterflies and a trillion roses
... and thanks goes to vicariousguardian for helping me with the last stanza of this... - Date: 01/17/2009
- Tags: title description
- Report Post
Comments (3 Comments)
- Kibroth - 01/18/2009
-
Appreciable. 2 stanza is the best by my estimation.
Suggestion: Last stanza-
Tears a trillion roses on the floor
Sewing together the heart you tore
and life's devoid of all sadness...
for with a simple "someday" came great (joy or gladness)
Nice title. Perhaps simply calling it Onehundredtrillion would roll off the tongue a bit easier?
-K - Report As Spam
- x_V-Ghost-V_x - 01/17/2009
- See theres no suckishness there
- Report As Spam