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Your loss is no more winter to my heart
than first snows brushed against unfrosted panes.
It will last no longer than those days that start
and end with unfilled plates and gnawing pains.
It is no paler than the saltless streets,
no colder than the peasant's mittless finger,
yet I am sure that when the icy sheets
are pulled away, this cold will not just linger.
The earth can only take so many winters
and only as long as there stays hope for birth;
here, even the seeds are torn to frigid splinters
and the rivers freeze too dry to melt. The earth
may wear false greens and masquerade as Spring.
The thrush may come, but with no song to sing.
- by Essence of Senescence |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 11/29/2008 |
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- Title: Loss Like Winter
- Artist: Essence of Senescence
- Description: I guess it's that time of year again...
- Date: 11/29/2008
- Tags: loss like winter
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Comments (5 Comments)
- CannibalWizards - 12/02/2008
- Lub it.
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- Aphrodite f l y t r a p - 11/30/2008
- Other than that; wonderful imagery! Some of it is awkward where the rhythm flips from above-mentioned form adherence issues, but I'm sure you can make it all pretty sounding. 4laugh
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- Aphrodite f l y t r a p - 11/30/2008
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Form adherence, lad!
Line 3, 6, and 8 have an extra syllable; I suggest "'Twill" for the first, if you want to keep the words. You screwed with your iambs on line 9 and 11...It's like you switched to trochees midway through. Take out the first "as" in line 10 and the first "the" in line 12, so those extra syllables'll be fixed. - Report As Spam
- iiTechno M o n s t a h - 11/30/2008
- very nice poem
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- Aqua_Ursus - 11/30/2008
- nice
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