• The lights flickered, and I saw it, for once, the first time, I saw my own death, watching it like reels in a movie, I stood there, motionless, as much as I could, not that moving was an option, awestruck, froze, petrified out of my entirity of mind I thought I had. Finding that disgusting sting of vile creeping up my throat, I shut my eyes, pretend it all goes away, it's not real, go away, pretend your not here, somewhere else, somewhere else, somewhere calm and far away, somewhere far...distances into a snowy wasteland and I see the closets thing to an illusion of fear without losing connection to your brain, no epilepsy required, a polar bear stood before me in silence and tranquility. It stepped forward and put its claw on my shoe, oh god, the trembling again, the worst thing to accompany cold and fear, this is a bad idea, I whisked my eyes open again, the flicker of that dang light entering my retina first thing, bothersome. A bead of sweat slid down the lining of my face, the light reflected and beamed off a twinkle. Panic, heart race, sweaty palms, nails digging into my hand from the tense grip, indents created, of course, paralyzed legs, move darnit! I could run, I could, just run, get out easy, yeah...but, I can't, I'm too paralyzed! Happy place, Happy place...back to the bear again?...Um, maybe if I let him smell my hand he won't maul me, or worse, he'll definitly maul me, and take my hand as his first course...all well, try it anyway, it beats everything else. Gentle now, don't startle him, lest he eat me. My fingers went under his black-brown moist nose, he took a few wiffs and grunted, I must stink to him, he took a few more sniffs and seemed O.K. with me, but I still was fearing he'll eat my fingers, he opened his mouth, oh god, this is it, I whinced, I don't want to see...huh? He's licking my hand? Great, he's getting a taste for me. I relaxed my tense muscles and went to pat his head, he accepted it and sat down with a thump, grunting and making general bear noises. I walked closer and he reached his paw out to me, I reached my hand out and he placed the padding on my palm, I had the urge to shut my eyes, they shut like when your tired, Zen-like really, I think I went into a metitative state, oh no, am I dying? Did I lose reality too much? Open your eyes fool! Wait, what is this? These aren't my eyes...why do i feel all...fluffy...my hands are, bear hands, crap I'm the polar bear!