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I walked down the dark alley and jumped at the sight.Those red eyes,peering,just staring at me.Looking at me like...There is no word for that behaviour."what do you want now,sir?"I asked my boss.He stepped out of the shadows.I had only seen his face once,but not well.All i knew is that i had strong feelings for him.I put on my hood and my mask.
"That man in the store to my right."He half breathed-half whispered into my ear.
"yes sir."I put on my gloves and walked away from the dark,damp place,into the store.It was desolate,like usual.Iprepared my katana and looked at the dark,and dusty place.An old library,leaking,and torn-up place it was.
"C-can i h-help you?"He stuttered.This man was only in his fifties,but my boss probably had a reason,a good one,he always did.Made me do this job to pay me,and house me.It was worth it,even if he was a serial killer like I am now. Also he was only one year older than i.
"yes you can sir,just hold still."I swang out my katana and lunged it into his throat,splattering his blood onto the floor and ceiling.
"Sir Kalvin shall be pleased once more."I said and wiped clean.I left the place.
- by Fayne Darkness |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/11/2008 |
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- Title: the serial killer
- Artist: Fayne Darkness
- Description: prologue but yea enjoy
- Date: 12/11/2008
- Tags: serial killer
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Comments (6 Comments)
- Fayne Darkness - 12/13/2008
- no just stared at her like he was lookin her over or something...i dont know yet but in the first chapter i wrote more on that subject
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- HolyDemonAndy - 12/12/2008
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Pretty good. Thanks for commenting on mine by the way. Yours could use some more grammar work. The story seems decent (not my particular kind of story, but, meh), but you might want to think of an actual word for how the boss was staring at her.
I don't know the boss's personality much yet, other than that he's a serial killer, and I don't want to stereotype, nor do I know how to stereotype. Did he look at her with lust? With interest? With admission? With order? With justice in his eye? - Report As Spam
- Fayne Darkness - 12/12/2008
- no sir kalvin is only 19 and the girl is 18 and the old man she killed was not sir kalvin
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- francel_joy - 12/12/2008
- don't you think the main character is too old? well, what can I say... Sir Kalvin is a complete idiot. Why won't he choose a young apprentice to take his place rather than an old man who is one year younger than him. His dumb.... for a serial killer...
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- Fayne Darkness - 12/12/2008
- lol thanks its a story im working on not my best work though...still tks!! XD
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- x_BonQuesha_x - 12/11/2008
- That was good! I mean okay but gave me the creeps!
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