• The following is a true story , it happened on September 4th, 2008.

    I watched the clock as it ticked closer and closer to 2:15. Almost out of class, almost on our way home. Finally, 2:15...and we were still sitting in class. My professor opened his mouth, and in his monotone voice murmured,
    "Now, just a minute class, we'll be don in a few minutes"
    Great, just great. Not only was I famished, but I was in my least favorite class, computer literacy. What a way to end my school week, stuck in my least favorite class, in overtime that is.

    We finally were set free, and we all grabbed our belongings, and stampeded for the door; looking like a pack of wild buffalo. As thee class dissipated into our separate ways, I ran my plan for the rest of the day through my head.
    -Go to the Campus grill, eat lunch.
    -Stop on the way home to skate behind K-mart.
    -Return my overdue DVD.

    Life was grand as of 2:27pm est. I was first in line at the frill, my food was delicious, I found a seat near the TV, and everything was great.

    I finished my lunch, and walked out to the parking lot, and found my truck. I opened the door, and a wave of heat almost melted my face.
    "Ugh!", I interjected, "I wish I had air conditioning in the thing."
    While I love my truck to death, it has it's flaws, mainly being a lack of A/C in a brutal summer.

    I hopped in, and pulled out of the parking lot, and onto the highway. Everything was still going great at 3:13 pm est. I had eaten, I was on my way home, the radio was playing good music, and traffic was few and far between.

    I took my exit from the highway, and a short while later, I was skating behind K-mart.

    I unbuckled my seatbelt as I exited my truck. I grabbed my MP3 player, and started to warm up.

    Everything felt great, my kickflips were high, my ollies were lofty, my shoes fit, everything was great. I knew it was going to be a great day to skate.

    Once I had decided on my trick (a backside 50-50 up a ledge), I set out to bang it out, and quick. It was over 100 with the humidity. Ouch.

    After 4 or 5 tries, I knew I was close to getting my trick. The very next try, MP3 player to the max, confidence high, I started my run up for the fateful trick.

    My tail skidded across the ground as I ran at the ledge, making myself ready. I threw my board down, got an extra push or two for speed, and BAM!

    I locked into my 50-50, took it up to the top of the ledge, a good 3 feet higher than anyone I've ever seen, and popped out.

    I landed perfect, save a minor shake and shimmy from the impact. I put my hand on the ground to catch my balance, and let out a loud, "WOOOO-HOOOO!" as a man on a motor scooter passed by.

    He was staring me down, giving me the biggest eek face I've ever seen. I knew my shirt was pretty odd (It's from Altamont Apparel if you were wondering).

    "Hmm, you think the guy never saw a skater before." I thought to myself as he zipped past me.

    I was happy to get my trick so fast, and decide a celebration was in order, a large Coke from Taco Bell.

    (By the time you realize Taco Bell sells Pepsi, not Coke, you wont realize why this is funny)

    I hopped into my truck, buckled up, and cruised over to Taco Bell, less than a mile from where I was shredding.

    I looked at the drive thru line, and decided I wasn't going to wait in such a long line with no A/C. That would be worse than...well....Computer Literacy class.

    I parked my truck, and walked into the restaurant. I saw a few people I had skated with before, and am pretty good friends with.

    "Sup, mang?" I asked as I wave at them.

    All I see are 4 of the biggest eek faces I've ever seen.

    I think to myself, "Man, that makes about 7 people that have been tripping on me today. Motor scooter man, a few random joggers, and now even some of my friends."

    "What's wrong I asked, why are you guys beaming me like that?"

    (Name removed to protect the innocent) gathered his breath and said..
    "Uh...dude, you have a huge hole in your pants!"

    I looked down, and my world was about to change.

    "Oh...my" I wheeze as the breath is let out of me like an old balloon.

    From the crotch of my jeans to about 1/2 way to the knee, my pants have ripped on the right leg.

    While this would normally be only mildly embarrassing, I, in all my brilliance, made this even worse. I was going commando today.

    It's never been a big deal before. I wear tight jeans, and sometime my boxers bunch up, and things aren't so comfortable. So, I stopped wearing them with certain pairs of jeans, including these.

    I now understood all the eek faces I had seen all day. My pants must have ripped when I was skating, and I didn't notice. I didn't, but everyone else sure did.

    I felt the blood rush to my face, as I tried to remedy the situation.
    How could I have missed this? How did I not hear the rip? How did I not feel the breeze?

    I'm not exactly sure how I never noticed my privates hanging out for all to see, but I sure didn't notice.

    So, here I was, almost fully exposed, in public, with, no less than 10 people now giving me the eek face. I tried to wiggle my pants a little lower, and pulled my shirt down low as I walked up to the counter. I didn't want to leave without my coke, despite my humiliation.

    The cashier gave me a large eek face.

    "I know, I just found out too. Don't feel bad" was all I could manage to say.

    I ordered my drink, and walked, without moving anything above my knees, out the door.

    I jumped into my truck, and sped down the road, horrified at my ignorance.
    When I arrived at my home, I was in luck, no one was outside, and no one was home.

    I ran inside, horrified, and quickly put on some new pants.

    Morales of the story:
    -Commando is a no-no in pants with a rip risk.
    -Make sure you don't have a hole in your pants before you go to Taco Bell
    -Always carry clean underwear with you.
    XD